The other day a friend of mine called me for advice. He had recently separated from his wife and taken a new job in Arizona. Inexperienced with the Tucson dating scene, he hit the bars. When that didn’t work he decided to take the plunge and see who he could meet online. When nothing seemed to pan out and he was almost ready to give up, he called me. He knew that I had been quite successful with my Internet hookups in the past and decided I would be his guru for this one. Always up for a challenge and thrilled at being held in such high esteem, I decided I would help him solve his problem and get him out there dating local singles.
At first I thought that maybe he just wasn’t presenting himself the right way, so I asked him to show me what he had done. He was using an honest and flattering picture along with one of the most positive profiles I’d ever seen, so no problem there. He had also made it clear just what type of person he was looking for, so that wasn’t it either. Then it dawned on me: He just wasn’t looking in the right places, or, moreover, his Tucson dating quest wasn’t even centered on the Tucson area.
It’s an all too common situation that has always confused me. Why would you care who’s available in Paris when you’re looking for Phoenix singles? Why should you hear about singles in San Francisco when you’re looking for a sweetie in Spokane? And why would you want to know about people anywhere else if what you’re really interested in is Tucson dating?
Think locally first is a logic many of us use when voting for a politician and even picking our produce at the supermarket. Doesn’t it follow that we should try and use the same logic when searching for our current mate or potential life partner online?
I don’t know what happened yet with my friend but knowing him and believing in the local-first approach, I can only predict the best.