I really hate generalizations, especially racially-based ones. No matter how complimentary, they have absolutely no place in society, that is except for in the dating world where they seem to be almost the norm. Still, I try to avoid using them whenever possible, especially ones like “white males in their mid-30s who give dating advice for a living only do so because they can’t get dates themselves anymore.” Not true! Anyway, there is one stereotype I heard recently that refers to black singles online and in general. It’s the assertion that black girls make you work for it. Is it true? Well…
Before beginning a detailed analysis of the question, I’d like to clarify just how I stumbled into this discussion. No, I wasn’t out looking for some interracial hot times and got turned down, nor was I looking for anyone really. I overheard some white guy in a club tell his friend that he felt he had to work harder to impress black girls than white girls, that they demanded more of him. This really stuck with me and I decided to see if this was just how it was for him or if there actually was something to what he was saying.
Not knowing this dude, I only had my personal experience and the experiences of my friends and colleagues to go on. I looked at my past and tried to remember instances of working harder to impress black girls I was interested in and couldn’t find any. I always work hard to impress, regardless of race, most of my friends are the same way, too.
I decided to go theoretical. Making someone work for it could stem from one of two reasons: self-confidence or ego. Since those are both traits specific to the person, I concluded that while you would probably have to work harder to impress black dream girls, it was probably the same for white dream girls, Latina dream girls and so on.
Essentially, that guy’s theory was only based on his interpretation of his own experiences and nothing else. This assertion remains a generalization that I will continue to treat like all generalizations. I’ll ignore it like I ignore all the others.